10.02.2009

We're Happy Men!



The "bear" is dripping with "gooey honey"...Oh, Don

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Is your dad a terrorist?

Because, baby, you're the bomb!

That is my favorite pick-up line of all time, and a contributing reason's to R's mail being held for weeks and her father being put on the CIA watch-list.  My bad.



Last night's Fringe got back on the bigger-picture track, revealing a little more about the fight we're in against an unknown enemy and the side-effects of traveling between realities, and our favorite character of all!  But I will save that for the dramatic ending.

Police Officer Dizzy Gillespie gets a call from KFC telling him to go to the train station and find a trenched man and take his briefcase.  When the briefcase walks into the station, all of the cool Euro flippy train scheds start to flip out (ha) and when Dizzy touches the briefcase, he starts to crystallize and suddenly esplodes.

When the gang arrives at the train station, after Astrid greads about the esplosion, they learn that none of the millions of anti-terrorist butt-bomb detectors detected anything and so what even esploded?  Walter finds the Sorceror's Stone and licks it, discovering that it's not a semi-precious stone or an immortality rock, but Dizzy's crystalline ear.  After questioning Dizzy's wifey, and getting a flashback headache (as Lebowski warned would happen), Liv voms in the bathroom and discovers a secret hiding place under the sink where Dizzy stored some needles and serum.  The team analyzes the serum and quickly realizes Dizzy's drug shooting turned him into a human bomb, waiting for the right frequency radio station to set him off.

While stationed in Iraq, Dizzy, along with The Colonel, was a part of Project Tin Man, clearly related to the human bomb business.  Asalam Alakum-ing some peeps from his shady past in Iraq, Peter is able to find one of the Tin Man doctors and learn all about the bomb business.  Everyone on the team was exposed to some cyan cerulean chemical and the injections were the anecdote, but then Tin Man got a heart and the project was over.  But The Colonel did not want it to be over, and started setting off human bombs all over.  His next bomb is a lady, who is on her way to the train station now.

The team spots her on the way and sets up snipers at the station. Even though they only have 30 seconds after the radio is turned on before she kabooms, they don't jam it immediately so they can have a chance of finding and apprehending The Colonel.  Except the radio station garbles their triangles and jam, so they can neither find Colonel or stop the signal.  But Peter rides in on his white horse and finds The Colonel with his eyes.  He beats him up like heroes do and Olivia takes his Walkman and stomps it with her cane that she can't bowl without.

Meanwhilst all this saving the world is happening, Lebowski fixes Liv's limp and Betty Draper hand-shakes by angering it out of her.  Miracle worker!

Back at the FBI, The Colonel swears he was just trying to destroy the contents of the briefcase with his bombs, the dead people was just an unfortunate side-effect.  He talks about "them", "they" who are collecting information - ALIEN BALDIES who are paparazzi-ing Walt!  Is he good?  Is he bad?  Is he just a huge Joshua Jackson fan?  (Watch it, Baldy.)

The end. Spock and the WTC next week!

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