Last week marked the first official week of elimination, so I figured, before all the official dance critiquing (read: contestant/judge bashing) a nice rundown of how I see the contestants fairing might be a good kick-off. Or, I did figure that… until learning that they took the previous SYTYCD format and spun it on its axis: only 11 contestants, with only one going home per week, paired up with “all-stars” (milking the fact that we ultimately only sustain our love for the dancers who didn’t necessarily win their seasons). Now, instead, I’ll run down the rookies as well as the oldies but goodies.
NEWBS:
(Boys)
Starting off the list of contestants on this (revamped) season are the obvious choices: Billy Bell and Alex Wong. Why are these two obvious? Well, they made it onto the show already, but didn’t actually get to compete due to mysterious illness and contractual obligations to ballet companies, respectively. Billy, who is more or less Kurt Hummel v.2.0 (clearly HE even thinks so) was the best, if only one of three, thing to happen to the pathetic excuse for Season 6. Because this show feels the need to pander to those high school girls who throw themselves at the gay boys in their school who have yet to come out of the closet (all of you can shut UP about how well I know “that girl”), they allowed Billy Bell’s pretty boy friend (possibly join those two words…?), Robert, from Alvin Ailey to also join the show. Alex is an Asian ballet dancer, and I’m pretty sure nothing more needs to be said about that.
Along with those two is another of this season’s 9348394 contemporary dancers, Kent. Kent is a baby bird who has to ingest his food from the mama bird (Adam Shankman) as she regurges it back up for him. He is a caricature of the concept of “small town boy” and damn it all to hell if even *I* am not pretty endeared by his naivete and unknowing charm. God damn you, Small Town Kent.
Since there’s only so much wholesome a season of daaahhhncers can handle, Nigel & Co. introduced some non-gay WASP contemporary dancers. There’s our (requisite for SYTYCD) from-the-streets, untrained, Hip Hopper, Jose, who is – of course – shockingly adept at all the styles thrown at him. Hopefully it will win over the masses (or at least distract them from his terrible acne). Our other burst of flavor comes in the form of Ade version 2.0. No, really… his name is Adéchiké. And I’d put money that he can do that one fancy arabesque flip, for which we all remember the original Ade. I think the fact that both Ades are on the show will probably, at some point or another, irrationally enrage me. Let’s hope he does some good dances before that moment comes.
(Girls)
With a guys’ lineup, this season, that is SO strong, I’d normally completely write off the girls. Somehow, though, they managed to get a bunch of female dancers that can probably actually hang with the Marks and Pashas and Neils of the returning veterans.
We should probably start it off with my girl crush, Melinda, who, from her first featurette in the audition specials, was positively too cool and I was sure that would hurt her. She’s a tap dancer and her only downfall on the show might be that she’s a little too aware of her showmanship and it might come off less than genuine. That being said, she’s awesome and will look really good on Mark or Neil’s arm!
After my crush, the next two I like are the two contemporary girls, Lauren and Alexie. Alexie has auditioned for the show 93489384 times, apparently, and is the oldest contestant, so I think that will definitely hurt her in the competition. She’s super bubbly, but I clearly just love her for being Asian and on the show. Lauren, quite frankly, looks and sounds like she’d be an idiot (which, in my mind, translates to bad dancer), but is surprisingly really good and is just BEGGING for a Mia Michaels number to be thrown on her. Of course, the show has to hate me, so Mia will be too busy running her mouth (y’know, that part of her we don’t care about) and I’ll be too busy wondering who is issuing tickets to the Hot Tamale Train. Sigh, Mary… I never knew what I had until I lost you…
Rounding out the girls are the last two contestants, who are basically just iterations of contestants in the past: Cristina and Ashley, whose styles are salsa and lyrical, respectively. You two girls better pray for some gooooood choreography to get you fan attention.
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VETS (ahhhhhh!!)
Firstly, I can’t believe I’m so PLEASED by (most of) the “all stars” they decided to bring back for this season!
Lauren Gottlieb:
Lauren was one of my not-the-best-dancer-but-I-loooove-you favorites from Season 3. Since then, she has gone on to only be more awesome and finally reached her full potential, by being the “Galileo! Galileo!” girl/principle dancer in Vocal Adrenaline’s “Bohemian Rhapsody” from Regionals this year (below). Brittany, I love you, but eat your heart out.
Mark Kanemura:
I have ALWAYS loved Mark. I’ve written on this blog, numerous times, how much I’ve loved Mark. I think everyone on this show who isn’t technically BRILLIANT is perpetually trying to BE Mark. Getting to see him in Lady Gaga videos/performances (/and hopefully Lollapalooza…? Fingers crossed!) over and over again? Icing on the cake!Comfort Fedoke:
So remember how I said I was pleased with MOST OF the all stars they brought back? Here is my one exception. Comfort wouldn’t even have any fame to claim, on this show, had she not gotten to come back (after being booted off) and draw a hip hop routine with Twitch’s name. Speaking of Twitch…
Stephen “Twitch” Boss:
While my love for Twitch waned over the course of Season 4 (mostly because that is still, to date, the best danced season of this show), it did not completely die. Or, at least, watching his Mia Michaels performance of “Mercy” with Katee certainly takes care of it.
Kathryn McCormick:
Kathryn was one of those contestants who came in as a nobody, with no fandemonium, and managed to actually fight her way to the top. She made it to the finale in a really lackluster season, so it’s difficult to tell if she can hang with the best of them during this one.
Pasha Kovalev:
Pasha is the greatest thing, ever, and probably one of the only performers on this show whose feature during the Auditions Special actually remained memorable (see below). Although, whether THAT particular number stands out among seven seasons of auditions because of him or because of Anya, it's tough to say. Speaking of Anya...
Anya Garnis:
Despite now being a blonde, Anya is still the greatest female ballroom dancer this show has ever had. If we can't have Mary to give us ballroom critique, the least we could have is some Anya to make sure that it's perfection.
Allison Holker:
Allison's return to the SYTYCD stage/dancing in general is possibly the greatest thing this season has managed to do. Nothing can express the broken pieces that were formally collectively known as my heart when she told us all that she'd taken time away from dance to have a baby. Look, Allison, babies are cool or whatever... but no baby is going to make us love you like your dancing will. Keep that in mind the next time you decide to have a god damn baby.
Ade Obayomi:
There are two things Ade did, during his season, that got him to "all star" status: this and this. I don't think much more really needs to be said.
Nail Haskell:
I'm pretty sure Neil is the reason I started watching this show. Yes, he's hot, and, yes, it seems that he can do flippies and bendies better than any man should, but he's also unbearably endearing and is one of the dancers who has grown the most over the course of his given season.
Courtney Galiano:
Courtney was just really pretty and fun and conveniently partnered with Gev (earning her a lot of his fans' votes by default). But, then came "The Garden", and no one ever questioned her place on this show ever again. If that wasn't enough, between Camp Rock and Vocal Adrenaline, she's clearly made strides in trying to win me over in the other avenues of my life since her tenure on this show. In fact, she was even one of the preggo teens during Quinn's impressive-yet-borderline-disturbing James Brown ode in Glee.
At this point, I've reviewed all of the rookies and vets who are dancing and arabesquing their hearts out on the SYTYCD stage, this year. Let the recaps begin...
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