Things were really picking up on this show, and then they gave us this throw-away episode. But in case any of this matters later, here is my throw-away recap:
Apparently it's been three weeks since last week, and Olivia is now ready to be released from the hospital. How is it your face scratches still look so fresh after three whole weeks? Voldy Charlie - remember he was pronged by Voldy and is not really the Charlie we love, but at least he's being given a couple episodes before being totally fired - is keeping close to Liv so she'll tell him about her alter-universe encounter with Bell if/when she remembers.
There's a dead construction worker, who happens to be the latest in a string of similar engulfed-by-the-earth-and-left-for-dead-underground deaths. And so the team investigates! Walter finds some blue goo, which is partly humanly DNAey and a paralyzer goo. There is one man, Dr. Dre, about town whose house all the deaths seem to land under and he is taken into custody. He sobs a story about how his wife died during childbirth and so he would never hurt anyone because he knows how sad death makes people, but then he refuses to give up a goo-matching DNA sample all suspect-like. He is put into a holding cell where he Macgyvers a noose and hangs himself.
The team pushes daisies and pulls up wife and kid's coffins, only to find baby's coffin empty and a tunnel where he burrowed his way out. Upon poking and bringing back to life and questioning and poking again, Walter finds that wifey had super Lupus, meaning she couldn't possibly have given birth. But she did. Because Dr. Dre stemmed the fetus with scorpion cells to make it more resilient, thusly creating a Scorpion Baby that kills people.
Liv's adventure in the other world left her with Sookie's (Suh keh...) powers of hearing every sound and thought in the world at once. Among these sounds was breathing in Dre's house, which was clearly Scorp hanging out in the walls. Liv and Peter find a tunnel in the basement similar to the baby grave one, and while sticking her face where it doesn't belong, Liv was attacked by Scorp and pulled underground. Like the perfy he is, Joshy followed her and smashed Scorp who was then further smashed by Sheriff Holly Golightly's cop car that fell through the earth onto his head. The cleanup crew finds bear traps all over the yard to suggest Dr. Dre knew about his killer baby, but who cares because it has no obvious connection to anything else going on on this show.
Nina Sharp visits Liv and gives her a bowling card with one stamp left until a free game and tells her to go see the Big Lebowski for her psychological pains. Which she does, and he is the always-the-bridesmaid-never-the-bride actor from all those Boston gangster movies and shows (The Departed, The Black Donnellys, Grounded For Life...).
Charlie goes to Borgin and Burkes and types on the writer, which mirrors him to "do something to help Olivia remember what happened." Dun-dun-dun (in monotone).
Good on you if you read that whole thing, but you didn't have to because none of it mattered. Sorry.
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