That'll teach you not to Animal Farm

It would seem my request for more homosexualism is still being processed, but this week's Kings did find a lovely balance between Psalm recitations and camera time for David.

Wash up, David, supper's on the table and King Silas' youtube state of the union is starting! To keep the peace, Silas announces he will give the Gilboans back all the land he took, including David's Home Sweet Farm.

"Let me tell you AGAIN, how both my father and my brother died to protect this land. Please don't do this, Sire."
"I just broke up with my lady friend and I'll thank you to understand my emotional state. Now you go to your prosperous port and convince Wilbur and friends that they love losing their homes."
"Fellow farmers, consider that perhaps it's better to give up this land and not have any more people die...whatdya say?"
"David, bro, we lost our father and brother for this land! But I figure there are plenty more sons in the house to keep mom occupied, so just let me start this riot and get myself killed too."

At Port Prosperity, an insurrection led by David's brother, Ethan; At Shiloh, a coup led by King's brother-in-law, William, and his lackey, Prince Jack. All the while, King Bobinsky sits on a rock in the middle of a stream and brushes off warnings of chaos from Thomasina (the Zazu to his Mufasa).

Princess Michelle goes to Port Protest so daddy and David will start paying attention to her. And, damsel in distress be damned, it worked. Silas shot up everyone in the horse stable bunker, save Ethan, Davey, and Princess Pea.

Uncle Buck, who has been Silas' sugar daddy til now, is over it and ready to crown Jack the new king. Together, they purchase control of the media for to make daddy look foolish, but the girl from Popular buys it out from under them in return for the title of Minister. Upon serving his time-out sentence, Jack is given the strings to the Popular marionette and behind-the-scenes control of her seat at the Ministry of Magic. Silas takes care of William's posse by blowing them up, but William is secretly texted by the King's general to make like a tree and is spared.

And just so you don't get the impression that David is just a pretty face, let me tell you that he can also do smoldering. David showed his balls and stood up to the King, initially about the land giveaway, and then about letting his bro go free. And, albeit against my wishes, he saved the princess. Honestly, there must be a limit to this dashing charmy perfection.



And don't worry that your family hates you, Davey. I'm here.