4.29.2009

Forget swine flu, spinal syphilis is the new "it" illness



Fringe last night combined two sexy things: vampyrres and STDs. Doctor Scientist Boone (aside: it's not that Boone, but wouldn't it be great if Fringe and Lost did some cross-over thing? Just me? 'Kay.) Doctor Scientist Boone used to work for the ZFT making orifice sealing powders and reviving extinct species of syphilis, until he decided the gang life was not for him and he tried to leave. That ain't how it do on the skreets, Boone. So ZFT snatched his wifey and infected her with the syph (not as ringy as "the clap" but you'll take it) and maybe some Rob Patty blood, which turned her into a spinal fluid sucking lady of the nightclub.

Once cute men started showing up dead with serious hickies and their spines sapped, the gang got to tracking down the guy who ordered the dead strain of syph found on the victims' napes. Paging Doctor Scientist Boone, you're under arrest. Boone agrees to tell Olivia all he knows about the ZFT if she brings back his wife alive so he can anecdote (again, I know) her.

Sideplot: Olivia's sister's hubs is divorcing her and tryna take her baby. Shoulda signed a prenup! Are children included in prenups? Anywhooo, Joshy's reaction was more "friend who cares" than "dude who crushes" so I have decided they're not doing it. Good, because she is married! What is this sister's deal, anyway, why is she on this show? Good question.

Back to the action: While Pacey's cute face goes to bait the laydee at the Dirty Wrench industrial cloob, Boone and Walt (Gawd, JJ, stop confusing me with these Losty names!) are getting along swimmingly, sharing regrets and fixin' up an anti-syph cocktail. Boone, who had been feeding his wifey his own spinal fluid and is now chair-ridden, convinces Walter to take his last little bit to make the potion. La dee da, they catch the vampyrre and treat her, but not before Boone has a stroke and dies. Damn, now we'll never know about ZFT.

Psych! He videoed (EIEIEOed?) all the secrets he knew about ZFT and left it for Liv. Shocking twist that we knew all along: William Bell, head of evil corporation Massive Dynamic and Walt's old lab partner, is somehow involved. What a waste of a VHS. So next week we will learn about what receptionist extraordinaire Nina Sharp is hiding about Alexander Graham Drake William Saved by the. And and and! ALIEN BALDY IS BACK! Now if only Joshy could get more than three (bad) lines total in an eppy...

2 comments:

Eggis said...

why do I never see the bald guy?

SP said...

me either! joshy's pretty is too distracting! but he is defo in next week's eppy, like forreal forreal

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