Performance Show
This week’s performance show pretty much had a win from the start. Firstly, Debbie ‘Chiiiiild’ Allen. Need I say more? Between her working her new “hurr” and telling me about the cup o’ Haagen Dazs she threw at the screen “a couple times” when disagreeing with Nigel and Mary. Hmm, Haagen Dazs… now why didn’t I think of that?
The format for this episode SEEMED (I say “seemed” because I can’t totally remember) different than the Top 10 eppies of yore. There were two different group numbers - one with the top 5 girls, the other with the boys.
[Top 5 Girls’ Group]
For whatever reason, it was imperative that the group numbers both be excessively ethnic, starting with the girls’ group Bollywood routine. Though, I’m slightly loathe to admit, I have a bit of an advantage in that I know just how little “culture” is really in the song to which they danced. The choreographer clearly gauged who put forth the best attempt to Bollydance and formed the routine around them: putting Kayla in the front, then Chongalicious and Enchilada in the next row, and finally the rest of the riff raff at the back. The dance did exactly what Bollywood does on show – hides any disparities in technique and dancability behind cultural confusion, lots of jumping, and flashy music and costumes. Naturally, the jidges thought it a hit.
In any case, I clearly found it time to move onto the (newly rearranged!!) couples…
[Kayla and Evan]
Without even knowing the style to which they were dancing, you could already deem this couple unfortunate. For it to have been a Viennese Waltz – a dance of ups and downs and partnering and close holds – the height difference just made the style go from soft (read: boring) to comical (read: unfortunate). After Kayla (the Adorable) claimed that she was just going to “plié a lot,” I got really scared of juuuuust how bad this might turn out. As the case may be, it was not as suck as I’d prematurely pegged it. The costume department cleverly bedazzled Kayla’s foot to make it look like she was wearing the heels I wore to my Junior Class Prom, while giving Kaz…zak heels, turning his ballroom shoes into the pumps I should have worn to my Junior Class Prom. Cute little Kazzy ended up dancing stronger than I’d expected – it wasn’t the disaster that was the ballroom of the week before, but it also wasn’t anything close to what we’ve come to expect on the show. The jidging portion was actually rather worth listening to, this go ‘round (I give Debbie’s presence all the credit), as Nigel proved he could Wikipedia the differences between various forms of waltzes and Mary actually stopped cooing over the dancers like a deranged lunatic, managing to ACTUALLY critique a ballroom performance. The jidging ended with Debbie Allen telling Kaz…zak that he “handled [his] big woman.” I’m sure Kayla was pleased.
[Brandon - solo]
Brandon’s solo was what we’ve come to expect, yet never gotten to see – powerful and jumpy and leapy. For a second, I thought the version of "In Your Eyes" to which he was dancing was by that alter ego of Garth Brooks’, but it turns out that it was some other Gaines.
[Janette and Ade]
Ever since the last week’s performances, I’ve finally realized just how amazing little Enchilada is. In keeping with this season’s theme of COMPLETELY CHANGING MY MIND from that which I’d set it in the beginning of the season, this pairing was comprised of the top most examples (especially after GatorAde’s solo, last Results Show). And, then, as if I wasn’t excited enough (for them to either keep wowing me, or prove to me that they were a fluke – I’m not sure which one), they got a Nappy Tabs hip hop! The rehearsal footage was actually the first time I’d ever been able to tell just how short Enchilada is; and, conversely, just how tall GatorAde is! The number was all about the latter being a “Funk Doctor”, and once the music started playing – AND JUSTIN STARTED PUMPIN’ – I was impressed as hell. Not to mention that it made me think that Enchilada seriously has a shot at winning this entire thing, since she reminds me so much of Sabra, from Season 3. The best part of the critique, however, was when Cat pulled the Mama Hen card on Nigel. Aww, Cat…
[Randi - solo]
This solo was fairly generic contemporary stuff. She could eventually be really good, but for now she just bothers me in the same way that Caitlin, of weeks past, irritated me.
[Kupono - solo]
Ku’uoau’pua’ano’s dance annoyed the hell out of me, because it’s obvious that unless directed to do otherwise, he’s going to dance suuuuper femininely. Not to mention that we’ve been cursed with his notion that we’re all very much interested in these “outfits” he puts together. If I had to draw a cartoon version of Mark, from last season, he would be it.
[Jeanine and Jason]
AHHH!! TRAVIS WALL CHOREOGRAPHING! TRAVIS WALL CHOREOGRAPHING CONTEMPORARY. Oh dear god, be still my heart. Obviously, we know it’s going to be amazing before we even see it, because the ex-contestants on the show are always the best (e.g., Dmitry, Benji, Anya, Pasha). Sigh… Despite the fact that he did just choreograph, for me, a Park Bench v.2.0, it didn’t matter because he’d managed to do a really specific romantic story and make it the sexiest thing I think I’ve ever seen danced on the SYTYCD stage. The movements, themselves, had Travis written allllll over them and showed just how much better he will be than anyone else… ever. Between the heart locket teeth dragging and the kiss at the end, I consider this to be the most believable contemporary I’ve ever seen on the show. And, of course, to top it off: the standing ovation, with Debbie Allen claiming that pieces like Travis’ are what help the show to “evangelize dance.”
[Melissa - solo]
Well, at least her outfit was better than those booty shorts she attempted, last week.
[Evan - solo]
Awww, I just loveloveloveloveloveLOVE! He is so sheepish and adorable and I just want to put him in my pocket!
[Kayla - solo]
My god, this girl has legs for days!
[Randi and Kupono]
Well, nevermind that you don’t need to know the dance style nor see it to know that NOTHING short of a Sonya jazz piece will reconcile the fact that these two are most definitely going home. But, to get a Paso Doble?? Good god, way to add insult to injury, SYTYCD. Ku’uoau’pua’ano attempted to look like a “strong man”, but instead looked like a little kid who runs around in his underwear and a blanket tied around his neck, pretending to be Superman. Randi thought that putting on a wig would help, but that’s just going to confuse the 13-year-olds who are looking for the little girl with the blonde bob, Randi! I’ll admit that Ku’uoau’pua’ano was better than I thought he would be, but still majorly lacking that which all the great matadors of the Paso Doble had nailed before. Not to mention that he wasn’t even able to do the lifts.
[Ade - solo]
Oh, good god, HE CAN FLY.
[Jeanine - solo]<>Broadway routine, ever. Tyce managed to step away from his standard B-way fare, and instead jumped into the Age of “Aquarius”. Given that Miss Havisham was actually ALIVE during said age, I don’t think it was too tough for her to act the part of a flower child. Brandon’s acrobatics made it impossible for me to REALLY believe that they were stoned, so I think that’s a point (really the only point EVER) against Tyce. Gotta think it through, people…
[Janette - solo]
Here, Enchilada wants desperately for you to know she’s from Miami – as if her salsa, accent, and “I <3>African Jazz. I know, I thought the same thing. To be fair to the producers, it was nice of them to find a comparable, yet different, style to the Bollywood, so the jidges could hide behind the same level of cultural dissonance and instead focus solely on athleticism. So, yes, Kazzy was screwed. They even showcased it, by impregnating his white belly in the beginning of the number. The jidges referred to him as a “dancing milkshake” and, unfortunately, HE was the only to realize how it might be borderline offensive that all anyone could discuss was his physique.
Results Show
The Results Show I watched in about a collective 10 min., so I can’t do much other than comment on the solos (even though there’s nothing said solos could do to save anyone).
Oh, wait! Group number! I have it on record that I TOTALLY guessed the Japanese-themed routine was a Wade Robson, but good GOD, does he have to be so GOOD?!?! It was very Tarantino-inspired, and – go figure – it was not only choreographed by him, but also his adorably wife.
Cat took the time to mention the Emmy nods the show had received, including “Mercy and “Bleeding Love”! I was a little surprised that Tyce’s weirdo erotica Adam and Eve contemporary also got nominated, but everyone really seemed to like that one a lot more than I did (I think it had something to do with Jessica).
The Bottom Four dancers were: Randi, Ku’uoau’pua’ano, Miss Havisham, and – though, I couldn’t believe it! – GatorAde! It’s like no one watched his solo from last week! Sometimes, I think I would actually get off my lazy ass and vote on this show, if we were given the option to vote AGAINST people. Though, it wouldn’t have mattered, because the dancers all danced the same solos from the Performance Show and both Randi and Kupono were the unlucky two to go home. I have to say, not too much heartache on my end.
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